mm i walk around fries for din and the crunchy potato oozes the soft potato into my skullhole. this is delicious. the vegan nuggets they are delicious. i am having thoughts as i am doing the walking of writing novel and facing amherstguy in class, he who is so quiet and looks a bit like emili’s partner of late. he is unimpressed always. he is dreary in the head. i do not know if he will like me. i like me a lot. i like how i do.
what i do not like is foreveraloneee
foreveralone is what i do not like
in the night i do the meandering. i walk around with this neon pink lipstick leftover from kissing around the walls. i am weird. this i know. i laugh. i chuckle inside my head at the phrase “sexy heroin” and how the class with amherstguy will gasp in shock. these are delusions! nobody gasps in shock. nobody gasps at all. people are immune. closed in boxes made of shells made of tough plastic that adorns the windows of planes.
it is 11:44 and i am so dead tired and i have not done the debuggercise 1. i am disheartened. there is nothing to learn. there is only the lying down or sitting up and doing the cupid. is this because of the bad childhood? i do not know. the childhood has not been so bad. perhaps it is the lack of sleep.
i feel that i have fallen and now tomorrow i will have to lift myself up heavily by the armpits, brush off this dust that is perennially choking the soulllll. this is why people do the drugs. squid says he does not have the gaping pain of psyche that turns him to the weed but i do not know. who else is this alone. who else feels this so much. this loneliness is the doommm.