“even if i cannot have you”

he says to me that she says goodbye forever. he says this to me and i am horrified that this may be true. that this would mean he dies. he cannot die for holding on to her for the want of holding on to anything or anyone. i know that he loves her whole but loving her as symbol means he is quite willing to obliterate himself if he cannot have her.

but remember that he writes with pianos “even if i cannot have you” which means that he has felt hope for himself to survive even if he cannot have her. this is what i listen to now when he says to me that she says goodbye forever.

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