ok i think a bit more lucid now.
what i like is when people get hurt (not that they get hurt but that which follows) then they take photos of this and proudly make them profile pix bc they had suffering and it was meaningful and they r attached to their experience, their pain, the thing that happened that left mark. i did that when jose (lol, by the way) gave gravity strength to pull to ground via desk. great big thud and mark that still does not go. so fond of flaunting! was attached to the pain. to the falling, to this thing that becomes like a new family to me. i get it. i get this. i think its cool.