once upon a time there was a little man named blackbeard, the dusty one.
now you’re talking about lira!
no, i’m not, i’m not. i’m talking about blackbeard. lots of people are dusty! blackbeard is just one. he is so dusty because his boat is so dusty. he was always stealing things from little people and also wearing hats, but not on his beard. then he got very old and his beard turned white and he was known as whitebeard, the old pirate, or in the vernacular, “ye old pirate”.
i wanna tell you
so i was in my room last night doing some work slash editing our movie (it is mostly done) but mainly doing my work, and some people started being noisy as they were walking by my window, and i see a bunch of people chattering, and then i see some people wearing hazmat suits–
what’s a hazmat suit?
hazardous material, like all white.
and then i’m like what’s going on, then i see people dressed as bumblebees, and then i’m like what’s going on, and then i see people wearing helmets, and on and on, hundreds and hundreds of people, many of them in ridiculous costumes just piling past my door, and i’m like what’s happening, what’s this crazy parade, and i’m like shouting at them “what’s happening” and then they’re like “WE’RE GOING THAT WAY” and so i start following them. and there’s a heiss in my backyard [[garble]] and they all went there to get lists, because it turned out that it was the tour de franzia! which is this huge event on campus, and it’s like this big box of wine, and if you were to take it apart it would be this like BAG of wine…
I WANT IT! i love the box!
supposed to be cheap and delicious but also sort of gross right?
no, i had at the potluck, it was only delicious.
ok. and i saw mothers who were pregnant and babies with diapers and people all in white and people all in red, and what you do in the tour de franzia is you have a list of costumes and places in which you have to drink franzia! and so they run to the president’s house and they drink franzia and take pictures, and they run to academic buildings and drink franzia, and they stand in the fountains and drink the franzia! and there were like hundreds and hundreds of people doing this! it’s annual and i didn’t know about it until IT WALKED IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW. and the boxes are everywhere, just scattered around, empty boxes. there were starwars people, like chewbacca and all the people.