wretched morning you bring to me dreams of betrayed woman betrayed by her biofam, marriagefam, society, and lover.
“he couldn’t come and so couldn’t i. so he came behind me and we did it like goats and he, he was the one who came.” what the fuck. how does this sentence from the dream resonate like liberty bell clanging on the side of my head? also, i think i was also READING?!?! reading this on paper? in words? like reading the woman’s autobiography?
where the hell is tkad i need him i need to tell him about this brown woman in a sari who comes to me in my dream who gets married then finds ways to pilfer money maybe even prostituting herself for her lover whom she believes warm glowy innocent and ill or his sister is ill or something so she FINDS A WAY in this oppressive milieu to pilfer money for him.
then her brother-in-law mentions a piece in the news unknowingly, a piece in the news about how this lover (and he does not know him to be the lover of woman) is having financial troubles and will go under and his strip club business will fail.
“you study money? YOU STUDY MONEY?” shrieks our woman in sari and leaps at brother-in-law’s neck because she is devastated. she is broken she is consumed enraged heart-broken beyond any that she has sustained in her abusive abusive past and the final straw becomes that her lover whom she thought warm glowy innocent or ill is actually using her for money to run a failing strip joint.
orpheus and hydra i beg thees give me nicer dreams to-night.