tonight is the first night I’ve stayed up this late in like six months and these things are swilling around esophagusly
kwaku i love u
won’t close even though i keep closing it my door stays open. this is kind of too conveniently a great analogy for my life where the loose-ends are always flapping like yarn in my face. the door is open, but no, it is only ajar. i want to close it but it is ajar and all sorts of things come in. maybe it is time again, time again. but maybe the time is spring. i cannot wait for summer but this morning i understood in realizing from concluding that it is folly to love summer if i hate winter because summer leads to winter. i hate this weather. it makes me die every time that i am sleeping.
bj gave me bengal spice tea. he is the bearer of all sun into my life but i think that it makes sense to be afraid. i am not shy but i understand now what it is inside of me this tiger that is roaming red. he is frothy like strawberries and roaming always. he is watching and looking — but what is the glimmer that does not let go, threatening to choke? now i sound like eminem. i am a terrible friend to sarah. i am a terrible friend to alene. i am not a good friend. i have been a great, Great friend in my life long gone. why am i less nostalgic now? where are the people sitting around the table playing dominoes?
nicole wrote me a very long email about how much she misses her time with me. i did not even write back.
a strange guilt that comes from not writing back to emails. the only way i really talk to people is through text. and i still have not written back to kwaku. and i delete delete delete.
i just really think what happened is that i am a different person now who wants to close the door but it is ajar. literally. my bedroom door closes with much effort. bengal spice tea. i am waiting for the time to come when i can sit in the library and write. this is the only thing that i remember from college because i was in shock after. i was in shock because i had to go to the place where i would run away. i didnt but i would have. because i got sick and dad took me home. and then i moved here where i am now and i do not know if i can ever leave.
struggle is a knee jerk buzz word said my new friend cabbage who is orange. i dont know what that means. does this mean that my life is way easier than i think? i think maybe this is what this means.
the meaning of things is what, is running, it is not static and i am gone.
omfg. high praise much?!?!?!??!?!?! bff is amazing at lyfe–
— and I have met to evaluate your senior thesis, and we agreed it should receive a grade of A-. Both of us commented that we might have learned more from your thesis than any others we read this year; it tells a story of community and isolation on Vassar campus that isn’t part of the official college history, but which urgently needs to be told. As well, we were impressed with how much your thesis drew on empirical material: the historical archives, the literature from the cooperative movement, and the interviews with Ferry House residents. By using these sources to engage classic sociological questions about alienation and anomie, you’ve produced a model of what senior theses in the Sociology Department should strive for.
There’s some astute analysis here. You offered a simple but effective explanation for examining Vassar as a case study, although occasionally some perspective about Vassar’s singularity was in order. Pg. 41: is it really an “otherwise dismally isolated campus”? What about larger institutions, commuter schools, etc.? Additionally, you pondered the questions about architectural/environmental versus social explanations for community effectively. Your argument in the section on “Pre-selection Vs. Ferry Experience” was persuasive, and you correctly punted on the question of architectural factors in community (although these still are worth considering, especially considering Ferry House’s unique design).
munz ur brilliant endofstory!
bejai is looking forward to climbing a tree with you to watch my graduation!
oh yeah! that’s in two weeks, so my ass should be healed by then.
LOLOLOLOL!!!!! so, what happened is that jp was grinding up on someone real hard and he BROKE HIS ASS. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?!?!?! it happened! it happened to him! ahahahahahaha oh dear oh dear. jp ilu. i hope your ass heals!!! i hope it heals good!!!!
the goodness of things can be measured by how well you can sleep in it. this is how possible it is for me to be declaring the goodness of under things:
1) the new person in whom sleeping becomes able who is hippo
2) school post-eclipse
4) niceness easy goodness
5) pact that is golden with sunlight
6) looking at things and loving exciting instead of hurting unsmiling
7) uneating of animals & rape juices
all in all i think being vegan was a great thing to be and is a great thing to be and there is no need to be freegan, not in this space that i am in, not in this place; splace. i think that phyla is a great thing even though we cannot sleep–but the reason for us unsleeping is because she is too excited to sleep and i sleep first and i have looked my whole life to sleep first, to be the one that sleeps first.
wait. did i just realize something.
wow. i think i just realized something.
wow. gotta get on that. gotta get on that right now!
goodbye, good evening america, to-night, i am up to noooooooo gooooood. XD
lookin back at high school and this thing that i wrote that is just so awful and terrible and great–May 3, 2010
thx to munzi for reminding!
A is for apple…j is for jack…step on a crack…break your mothers (mamas) back
B is for bossumbuddies
C is for cancer
D is for dead babies
E is for ellie! AWW SQUISHY SQUEEKY ELLIE
F is for fungi on pizza
G is for gross and bad
H is for hamburgers, which are not made of ham
I is for I could have put her in a jar… but then what
J is for gat
K is for king cotton
L is for little boys crying
M is for most def
N is for nasty librarians
O is for operation OMG
P is for possums yelling pukapuka
Q is for quadraplegics
R is for REALLLY OLD
S is for stabbing syrus
T is for TAXI calling on the highway
U is for beeteedoubleU
V is for vendetta
W is for George dubya bush
X is for anoreXia
Y is for yahoo which kicks AIMs ass
Z is for zat’s all folks